It is very clear that, except for the 3% of rapes that are committed by pseudo-sexual sadists (who are basically the same psychology as sadistic serial killers like BTK), every rapist needs to maintain a fantasy in which what he or she is doing (usually he by a vast majority, regardless of the gender of the victim) *is not wrong*.
That is why it is vitally important to denounce rape. It is not important to rush in and tell the victim what they did wrong - that they should not have been walking alone, that they should not have dressed a certain way, that they should not have drunk alcohol, taken drugs or flirted with someone. These things are all myths anyway. The man who leaps from the bushes and uses force is no stranger, he's someone the victim knows and he is there because he followed the victim or planned to be there. If not in the park, it would be in their home, their garage or on their doorstep. The opportunist who uses drink or drugs to remove the capacity to refuse has already decided that is an acceptable way to have sex, he doesn't care who the victim is or how he or she acts.
The only thing really, truly known to cause rape, is a rapist. A deeply insecure, broken individual clinging to a dream so he doesn't have to look the horror of his crime in the face. And it is a horror, not some trivial act of casual sex. Rape is a method of torture.
It is important to tell the rapist that he raped. That he committed a horrible, life-destroying crime. That rape is not a powerful, victorious gesture. That a rapist is not a hero.
A rapist hangs on to variants of one of two fantasies: (1) that what he does is secretly desired by the victim, or (2) that he is punishing some transgression by the victim or something the victim represents.
She consented to sex and then regretted it the next day and made a false cry of rape? No. That's fantasy (1) in action.
She acted all sexy and then changed her mind, being a tease? No. That's fantasy (2) in action.
Rape is once again becoming an epidemic crime, increasing by four times as much as other crimes in the USA. The most effective way to fight it is so blindingly simple - we have to tell rapists they're wrong. "Don't be that guy" knocked rape down by 10% in Vancouver - that was the first major campaign to target rapists. So target them, everywhere. Leave the victims alone. Tell the rapists what they did was wrong and take the fantasy away.
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